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Ejaculation Time Travel

For many men, ejaculation is their primary goal. When we focus primarily on getting to our ejaculation, we time travel.


Ever since our teen years, ejaculation has been a very satisfying, worthwhile target. And like a dart hitting a bullseye, it snaps into being in a blissfully overwhelming instant that is unlike most every other instant in our day. It’s no wonder we reach for it again and again like a tonic. It’s relaxing. It’s extremely pleasurable and sets us free from our egos for a few important seconds.

Masturbating in order to fall asleep is great, but if we switch our focus to our ejaculation when we are co creating pleasure with our partner, we time travel those precious seconds into the future where our ejaculation is happening. We slip away to something seemingly better in time, to get at the snap of pleasure that we value so highly and consequently leave our partners behind.

It’s a subtle shift but nevertheless a palpable abandonment of the present moment. Especially if it becomes a repeated, unconscious pattern. I had a lover who would finish on his own. Each time it happened, it would feel he had gone home with someone else and I was left alone.

Over the years in my Sacred Intimacy practice, I noticed that when sensuality, breath, touch, movement and sound, remained center, when shared pleasure bound us together, it didn’t matter where we went or if we ejaculated at all. What mattered most was that we traveled together.


This is not to say reaching for an ejaculation is bad or getting there anyway we can is wrong. If we habitually abandon our partners as we reach for our bliss, we may find time travel can rob us of the intimacy that a moment of shared vulnerability creates. The idea of time travel is fun but when we go, we might find that we leave the ones we love behind.

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